gets tired of everything, and we are happy from time to time. Sometimes we are even happy, you won't believe it, together!

Oleg (calming down). Okay, it's the master's business. I'm not climbing. Listen, tell me… And Irina, does she know that you know?

Danil (calmly). About a lover?

Oleg (with interest). Yes.

Danil (calmly). I don't know, we haven't discussed it with her. But, for sure, he guesses. She's not a fool. A snake, a bitch, but not a fool. (Proudly.) I chose it myself!!!

Oleg (with sarcasm and approval). Krasava!

The men shake hands approvingly and supportingly.

Suddenly Danil screams in panic, accidentally glancing out the window.

Danil (frightened). AHHH!

Oleg jerks back. He also looks out the window, then at Danil. Can't figure out what happened.

Oleg (confused, excited). What? What happened?

Danil (nervously, rubbing his eyes and looking out the window again). Do you see that?

Oleg (trying to see what's going on outside the window). I don't see anything like that. They are sitting, drinking something!

Danil (roaring). Something?!!!! They're drinking my collectible cognac!!! I was saving it for a special occasion, but not for this one! Well, Irka, well, bitch, hold on!!!

Danil breaks off and runs furiously to the traitors.

Oleg looks surprised at Danil's reaction. She follows him with her eyes. It seems like he's going to leave, but it's interesting what will happen.

Peeping through the window.

There is a knock on the door, or rather even its removal (door).

Screams, screeching, dishes, fighting …

all this is hidden by the music that has appeared and completes the scene.

Blackout. Silence.

ZTM.

Scene 5. Ladies.

The scene is conventionally divided into two parts. With musical accompaniment, Irina and Nina are each doing business in their apartment. The viewer sees both ladies at the same time. Cleaning, cooking, washing. Everything is like everyone else's.

Irina picks up the phone, calls Nina.

The musical accompaniment subsides and ends.

Nina's phone rings, she looks at the screen, sees who is calling, picks up the phone.

Nina (into the phone, positively, encouraging conversation). Irishe, hello.

Irina (into the phone, positively). Hi, Ninul. How's life – swing?

Nina (into the phone, positively, shaking off a dust rag). Oh, Irishka, Masha – just hold on.

Irina (into the phone, positively). Well done, that's the way it should be. What are you doing there? Do you want to do the housework?

Nina (into the phone, positive, exhaling). I'm busy where to go. Who will do everything? Although, I admit, sometimes I harness Oleg. It happens that he scrubs the floors and washes the dishes. We have equality on all fronts. And while he's at work, I've been busy.

Irina (into the phone, positively). Oh, how great everything is with you! It's not like that with me! On Danila, you know, where you sit, you get off there. The household is all on me. So that he scrubbed the floors, or washed the dishes… This is him, even if he sooooooo much messed up, he still won't do it. It's the same thing every day. The morning begins with the fact that Danil starts swearing the alarm clock. Moreover, he swears the same way every time! No variety. Then breakfast, work. I came home from work and put my ass on the sofa. And then either beer and TV, or a smartphone in your hands, or all together, which is most often. This is everyday life.

On weekends, everything is about the same, except for the first two items, the alarm clock and work. So there is no question of any help in the household, even-even.

Nina (into the phone, positive, exhaling). Mm…

Irina (into the phone, with interest). Listen? So, do you have your Olezhek who also cooks?

Nina (into the phone, calmly). Things happen. It is not necessary to expect much culinary delights from him, but to cook porridge, soup, scrambled eggs in a hurry – it's easy.

Irina (into the phone, surprised). Wow…

Nina (into the phone, calmly). On weekends, he likes to bake cookies, or waffles. By the way, I was just going to tomorrow. I've already bought margarine. I put flour in reserve, sugar. In general, it takes aim.

Irina (into the phone, with intrigue). Sluuuushaaay…

Nina (into the phone, with interest). Mm…???

Irina (into the phone, with intrigue). A..m.... well, I want to try. You're really intrigued.

Nina (into the phone, positively). What's the problem? Come on! I'll tell you that you and Danil will come, let him bake his cookies for two portions!

Irina (into the phone, happily). Super! Then we'll be with you tomorrow!

Nina (into the phone, positively). Swept away!

They put down the tubes.

The musical theme continues.

Irina is happy. The insidious plan is read in her eyes.

Nina continues to do household chores at ease, completely without any ulterior motive.

The music stops.

ZTM.

Scene 6. Dialogues in the dark.

Late evening. It's almost night.

It's dark in Irina and Danil's apartment, the lights are already off, the couple is trying to fall asleep.

Yawns and sighs of Irina and Danil are heard. Both turn over, the creaking of the sofa (bed) is heard.

Irina's voice (dissatisfied). Yes, it's good to put your legs on me, and it's so hot, there's also you with your hairline. Consider that you are covering with the second blanket.

Danil's voice (dissatisfied). And you take your head off my side. These thin hairs of yours are crawling into my mouth and nose, they don't let me sleep. I'll cut it, by God I'll cut it. Under Kotovsky! When you get to the handle, I'll get tired of spitting your hair and perform a sacred ritual while you sleep.

Irina's voice (dissatisfied). If you cut my hair off, I'll grab something else for you. They're hanging around anyway.

Danil's voice (after a pause, thinking it over, smoothing out the corners). That's why I love my wife, so it's for the ability to resolve conflicts. You see how cleverly you manage to come to a consensus. And come in such a way that in the end both sides were dissatisfied. As it was bad, so it remains bad, nothing changes. But the consensus!

Irina's voice (dissatisfied). You… this… Come on, don't speak out, otherwise I will determine the eunuchs without any consensus.

Danil's voice (calm, yawning). Okay, okay, let's go to bed already. We still have to buy something in time tomorrow, not to go empty-handed. And what is it, by the way, that we were invited to visit? They didn't call, they didn't call, and then on you …

Irina's voice (deliberately surprised). Yes, I don't even know myself, somehow it turned out that way. We talked to Nina on the phone, word for word – invited her. I think, and what is not there?

Danil's voice (calm). In principle, yes.

Irina's voice (agreeing). Well.

Danil's voice (calm, yawning). Okay, we'll go tomorrow. Let's chat, have a drink… But that's tomorrow, and now let's go to sleep.

Irina's voice (agreeing). Come on.

Danil's voice (after a short pause). Did you set the alarm?

Irina's voice (calmly). Yes, I have it.

Danil's voice (calmly). And I don't have it.

Irina's voice (sarcastically).

Danil's voice (indignantly). Alarm clock, I mean!

Irina's voice (with understanding). Oh, that's what you mean. God be with him, don't bet. I think we'll get up.

Danil's voice (calmly). Okay, good night.

Irina's voice (calmly). And you.

The music changing the scene begins to play softly.

Irina's voice (outraged cry). Where are you going with your feet again, well!!!

Danil's voice (nervously, shouting). And you shut your head!

The nervous altercation of Danil and Irina is hidden by the background of the growing music.

The music grows and subsides, ends.

…

The same late evening, almost night, but now in Nina and Oleg's apartment.

The lights are also turned off, a married couple is trying to fall asleep.

Nina and Oleg yawn and sigh. Both turn over, the creaking of the sofa (bed) is heard.

Nina's voice (calm, cautious). I see you can't sleep either, right?

Oleg's voice (calm, cheerful, not smelling of sleep). Yes, something is not in one eye at all. And you need to sleep. Tomorrow this fuss, guests… Why did you decide to call them? They're like a cat and a dog. We will sit and listen to their complaints about each other.

Nina's voice (calm, cautious). They seem to have got used a little, maybe it will do?

Oleg's voice (skeptically). Got used to it? I'm begging you. One is a badass, the other is not a badass. It might be so nice when your whole life is like on a volcano, but when this volcano is in your apartment, then there is hardly anything worth waiting for.

Nina's voice (calm, coaxing). Oleg, they very rarely come to us, as we do to them. Besides, I've already called. Do not refuse now.

Oleg's voice (humbly). No, no, of course not.

Nina's voice (delicately). Treat them with your cookies, let them be jealous of what a handy husband I have …

Oleg's voice (kindly). Okay, okay .., let them envy. Ah …, patience and strength to us. Good night, dear.

Nina's voice (kindly). Good night, darling.

The musical theme begins to sound smoothly.

Nina's heroic snoring is heard.

Oleg's voice (dissatisfied). Come on, eeeeeeeee....

The musical background increases, leaving the scene disappearing into the darkness with a slight anticipation.

The music stops.

ZTM.

Scene 7. Guests.

Positive loud music!

Nina and Oleg's apartment.

Nina and Oleg joyfully greet the guests who have just entered (Irina and Danila).

Oleg in a kitchen apron, hands in flour. Nina in a beautiful party dress. Danil is dressed in a strict style, dark suit. Irina in a provocative dress, heels. The face is painted, it looks very impressive.

Danil (fervently). Hello, Aborigines! What do they give you to devour? In the sense of being treated?

Irina (making excuses for her husband). Don't pay attention to your husband's stupid jokes. (He talks enthusiastically.) He's on a roll today. We enter the elevator in the shopping center. There are about six more people with us. The doors close, Danil turns to everyone, busily so, in a boorish, burnt voice (Parodies the conductor of public transport.) So, let's go in, we'll pay for the fare!

Danil, Oleg, Nina are smiling.

Irina (indignantly). Yes, the main thing is, convincingly so! A couple of people even reached for their wallets.

Danil (positively, to his wife). Yes, you yourself reached into your pocket so-and-so.

Irina shoves her husband in the side. Indignantly whispers something to him. But their incipient altercation is interrupted by Nina and Oleg, who quickly change the situation. They approach the guests, warmly welcome them.

Everyone is hugging, rejoicing.

Oleg happily pats Danil on the back, leaving quite impressive white flour stains and handprints on his jacket (on the back).

But no one pays attention to this (except the audience). Irina delicately kisses Oleg on the cheek, serves the cake she brought. Danil takes out wine and sweets, which he also prepared for the event.

Irina (to Oleg, happily). Well, cook, it's from our table to yours. And you go brag about cookies! I feel it smells like cooking, but… (Looks around.) I don't see it yet. Stashed cookies, huh? Come on, drag it here, we'll taste it!

Oleg accepts the gifts, puts everything on the table, goes to the kitchen for cookies.

Nina seats the guests, arranges everything on the table, on which everything is already cooked, except cookies.

From the kitchen comes the rumble of iron sheets, basins, dishes…

Oleg (shouts from the kitchen). Nina! Why did you put the sheets like that? At least